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by Angela Giannotti
Welcome
to an erstwhile column. And to all those who are too old to blog and too
young to not express your feelings, this is a place where you too can
expound. I wrote a column for the Moriches Bay Tide for several years and
for Dan’s Papers for one. But that was in the early 90’s. I loved having a
column and began to hone it to a nice, neat 400 words or so. But it has been
awhile and I beg for compassion.
I am a retired English teacher, former Brookhaven Youth Orchestra Director
and a constant yarn jockey. But, here comes the disclaimer, I’m not one of
“those English teachers” who sniff and toss their heads at poor grammar and
really bad spelling. I taught junior high English which has more to do with
hormones than homophones. I often make mistakes. Oh, I have a few pet peeves
but I do not write like Faulkner. Think Erma Bombeck. If you find a glaring
error, typo or offensive philosophy, send an email to Bellport.com. I will,
in turn, give you extra credit on your next book report as I did with my 8th
graders, lo those many years ago.
However, you will not find a sentence in this column containing the
following phrases:
I could care less…..If you could care less then why don’t you? I couldn’t
care less is correct.
Enthuse …. is not a verb. I’m so enthused is incorrect. You can be
enthusiastic but you can’t enthuse anything, including a watermelon with
vodka.
Less/fewer ….John has fewer quarters than Mary, therefore he has less money.
TV sports announcers are the worst when they compare stats. For all those
who are still reading, I’ll go into apostrophes next time.
With all that said, I’m thrilled to be writing a column again. And I hope,
once in a while, you’ll enjoy it too. Thank you.
Angela Giannotti
The Red Barn is no more. That is a very sad statement for anyone who frequented the Brookhaven landmark that graced Beaver Dam Road for over a hundred years. The barn, among other things, was the home of the Pumpkin Patch Players, a theatre group of neighbor kids who studied, rehearsed and performed plays, music and improvisations.
My son Gregg was one of those kids and so were so many of
his friends and neighbors – Katie, Andrew, Eric, Natalie, Matt, April,
Justin... I remember this group well - all born in the early 80’s. Debbie
Mayo, their mentor, would gather them together and gently fashion a
marvelous experience for actor and audience alike. Debbie is an actor and
professor at the Stony Brook University Drama department and lives across
the street from the barn. The Pumpkin Patch Players were all but perfect.
The barn’s stage was fashioned from wood and curtains that seemed to be from
earlier times. The surroundings were more 50’s than 90’s. Seeing a
performance was like being in a Disney movie, only better, much better.
Everyone who sat on the boxes and makeshift chairs knew how special it was
and how lucky our kids were to be part of magical Brookhaven Hamlet lore.
And, like lots of joys in Brookhaven Hamlet, the experience was thanks to
Betty Puleston. It was her barn after all. Betty had the kids perform every
year at her birthday party at her house, a short walk from the barn. She
would rock with laughter and her smiles would soften all the lines on her
face. Betty loved the magic.
The first pictures of the South Country String Band were taken in front of
the Red Barn. The band was an erstwhile group of musicians that included
John DiNaro, Rich Fuller, me, my husband Rich and our son Gregg*. Gregg was
about 12. We later performed there for a HOG fundraiser and joined our
neighbors as the Hamlet Organic Garden was planted in the fields behind the
wooden structure.
I’ve marveled for the 39 years I’ve lived in the Hamlet that a place like
the barn existed. Not just the structure but all that it housed including
Looms for weavers and pottery equipment. There were also priceless Puleston
family mementoes. But the barn is no more. We really must remember how lucky
we were to have had it. It was out of another time but we were able to
partake of those simple times because it existed. Instead of Mickey Rooney
and Judy Garland it was our kids who put on a show. The same kids who are
drama teachers, musicians, composers, sports talk radio hosts**and fine
adults. It was one of the purest joys of those summers. Thanks Betty. Thanks
Debbie. Thanks kids. Their memories and ours are now what’s left of the Red
Barn.
* Shameless Plug : These musicians and many others still can be heard at the
Acoustic Jam on alternate Fridays at the Community Center in Bellport.
** Shameless Parental Pride - Gregg is now a sports talk radio host.
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"Some Ramblings, One Remembrance"
Rambling:
Because I have a new credit card, I thought I had to notify EZ Pass. Luckily
I had just gotten a statement from them and I called. Think Bob Newhart.
Hi. I want to change the credit card on my EZ PASS account. I have my
account number. My telephone number? OK. What do you mean, how could it be
wrong, I’ve had that telephone number for 38 years? The area code? Oh. It
used to be 516 but it’s been 631 for maybe 10 years now.
OK. The cars on the account? No, I don’t have that car anymore. Well, OK, I
have the same brand and model but I drive a 2005 now not a 2001. No, I don’t
remember the license number of the 2001. No, we have new plates on all the
cars. The other two cars have not changed except for the license plates.
Listen, don’t you need my mother’s maiden name? That hasn’t changed. It’s G
R… Oh, you don’t have that. OK.
Well I’m not asking you for money, I’m giving you another card to take MY
money. Can’t you just believe me? OK. Well, OK. Here are all the cars and
their plate numbers. Well, only one has numbers; the other two have letters.
No, I don’t own that car anymore….
Moral: Don’t call EZ Pass. Let EZ Pass call you when your credit card no
longer works.
Rambling:
I love National Public Radio. I enjoy Car Talk, Whaddaknow?, A
Prairie Home Companion, All Things Considered and
Morning Edition, among others. I do my part at pledge time.
But I have such a hard time dealing with the pledge drives. It’s like
listening to commercial radio not WQXR but WALK. In an attempt to find out
why WALK’s Walky Bear was at Brookhaven Hospital last week I tuned to WALK
and heard 12 minutes of commercials. It was unbearable. That’s one of the
best reasons to listen to National Public Radio.
However, there are the pledge drives. I am sensitive to such things, having
been involved with non-profit organizations. I’m glad that I no longer have
to worry about keeping an organization alive considering how terrible the
economy is currently. But I’m still not a big fan of those begging sessions.
I really feel for those people. So I thought that it would be great if there
were a way to have the pledge drive end as soon as you make your pledge.
Wouldn’t it be nice that once you call in your donation, regular programming
would resume on your radio or television set. I think that pledges would
increase.
We are all creatures of habit and if we enjoy programs on Public Radio or
Television we don’t want anything to interrupt it. If we knew that Garrison
Keillor would be able to finish one of his great tales of Lake Wobegon as
soon as we make our donation, wouldn’t we head for the phone or computer?
I’d much rather have that option than an umbrella or a coffee cup. Recently
WSHU did a one day pledge drive because we, as listeners, complained of
“concerto interruptus”? Unfortunately, the station did not make their goal
so there will be another pledge day soon. However, if there were alternate
(non-pledge) programming for those who made their donation, the money would
be piling in.
Think about it. Somewhere in the world of cyberspace there must be someone,
probably a 10 year old, who could figure out how to make this happen. Maybe
that little girl who makes those slide shows for that Microsoft 7 ad, or one
of those stock trading babies? Someone can do this. Someone please try,
quickly before the Peter, Paul and Mary retrospective on Channel 13. I’ll be
the first to pledge.
A Remembrance:
I recently wrote a column about groups. It showed how important the
individual becomes to the whole. One of the groups was a Tuesday morning
compilation of all sorts. Many of these individuals met nearly every day and
had many no-holds-barred conversations. It was so stimulating that I could
not help but think that it rivaled those at the Algonquin Hotel with the
Marx Brothers and Benchley. By that reference if nothing else, you can tell
that we are of a certain age. We may struggle with Tweeting but can still
finish the New York Times crossword puzzle, in ink.
One of us has left us and we don’t like it one bit. Fletcher Bedell died on
September 16th. He and his family have been part of Bellport FOREVER. It
didn’t matter how long you knew Fletcher to appreciate his good humor,
intellect and love of life. Even when he made you the recipient of his
pranks, you loved him for it. Fletcher shared his struggles with cancer in a
way that you never believed it would get the better of him. He was like John
Wayne only with a better smile and a glint in his eye that rivaled no other.
He would travel on his motorcycle down to Florida or cross country with
Stella, bringing back tales of adventure. He loved history. Fletcher was
descended from the Huguenots, we learned one morning which opened up another
lively discussion. There are many of our little group and many in Bellport
that have shared stories about Fletcher Bedell. May we always remember the
laughter. Thanks Fletch.
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Last week my pocketbook was taken. It was hard to imagine
it happening because I was at a funeral. However, I could not believe
otherwise because my bag was not under the votive candles at the church
where I put it. It was nowhere to be found.
The deacon even asked the bereaved at the cemetery if anyone had picked up a
purse in the church by mistake. I was grateful he asked, but I also felt
terrible. What a thing to ask the family gathering as they said their last
goodbyes. The loss of my wallet was annoying but not horrible.
Unfortunately, my car keys were in the side pocket. Friends drove me home to
get my spare keys and my husband drove me back to the church. The church
secretary scoured the grounds as I drove around the village and checked
bushes and trash cans. Nothing. It was gone.
While I was already planning my phone calls to credit card companies, my
husband, in his quiet yet emphatic manner, explained how the loss of my keys
was far worse than replacing the plastic. The car keys opened not only my
car, but with a push of a button, the garage entrance to my house. My house,
all its contents and the people in it, were now in real danger. I had even
provided the getaway car. Recent tragedy in Bellport only served to
emphasize this threat. We had to call the police and the officer was very
sympathetic. It was hard to say that the bag was taken at a funeral mass. It
was still so difficult to fathom. He explained that detectives would be
calling because a felony was committed.
It was true that the harder the times, the greater the risks. We could no
longer leave the Volvo in its usual place in the driveway. So we secured the
car out of sight, changed the front door lock, and checked the locks on the
downstairs windows. Even house alarms did not quell our fears.
We had no choice. We must replace all the locks in the car. I called Volvo,
knowing full well that it wasn’t going to be cheap. It cost $400 to replace
a transmitter key not too long ago. I thought I was ready for the hit, but
when the service manager came back with a total of $1600 for the entire job,
I groaned. Impossible ! No, labor alone is $700 because they have to
dismantle the steering column. A constantly rattling steering wheel was in
my future, I just knew it. But, there was no alternative. The dealership was
able to get the parts in a day and we had an appointment for late Friday
morning. Bravo to Volvo!
There was still much to do and I was so angry with myself. If only I were
organized and had all the numbers at hand. Alas, I was not. Nevertheless,
the minutia of driving to the Motor Vehicle Bureau without a license to get
a replacement was better than I thought. There was no replacement fee, which
frankly, surprised me. I did keep my old photo because it was one of the
three in my life that I did not mind. (My column photo isn’t one of the
remaining two, if you were wondering.) I was out in less than a half hour
with a temporary license.
I then remembered that I would often carry a blank check, in case I couldn’t
use the debit card. So I opened a new account and notified my direct deposit
agencies. Then slowly, one by one, the automatic payments on my debit card
came to mind - E Z Pass, gym memberships, Netflix. But, it’s almost useless
to notify them until I have the new card. After 5 working days, I received a
debit card, as promised. However, they also informed me that my new pin
number would take an additional 3 to 5 days. I use my debit card constantly.
I don’t use cash for anything over ten dollars. It’s a real handicap for a
debit-holic like me. How can I food shop? What are the real banking hours
anyway? How much do I really need in cash??? Luckily, I bank in Bellport and
my friendly neighborhood banker helped me out. Bless her.
My huge checklist of necessary chores attached to losing a purse was getting
smaller. The car locks would be changed by Friday afternoon, and we would
soon feel safe again. All of the stuff I carry in my car found temporary
homes and we were ready to head out to Riverhead. Then the phone rang. I had
stopped hoping, too much time had passed. My purse was gone forever.
However!!!
My purse was found. It was taken by mistake not stolen. I had put it under
the candles but not far enough away from the grandchildren’s many bags,
bottles and toys. An adult, minding four very young children, gathered
everything in sight and secured it in their out-of-town car. There was no
reason to even think of the items until it was time to unpack. Late Thursday
night an unfamiliar pocketbook was unearthed in New Jersey.
What a relief! What timing! In a matter of minutes we would have been off to
spend $1,600 on new locks. Dare I say miracle? The bag was over-nighted to
me. I didn’t have a blank check in it, after all. I did have club
memberships, health insurance cards and important addresses in it that I had
not yet missed. It was all there and I am so grateful. I still feel sorry
for adding stress to anyone at the funeral. I’m grateful, I have learned a
lesson and I’m going to pass it on.
Go directly to your pocketbooks (or wallets, for any man still reading this
column). Take out all the cards, credit, debit or business and scan and copy
them on both sides. Make sure that you can read all the numbers including
the phone numbers necessary to notify the companies. Do the same with your
license. Add this info to the names and account numbers of services such as
EZ Pass, in order to expedite notifications. Do a general wallet cleaning,
securing important phone numbers from old grocery lists.
And lastly – believe first that a mistake was made, before you believe a
crime was committed. I like being an optimist, not naïve but optimistic. So
long Buckaroos. Remember: Be prepared! The aggravation you save, may be your
own.
"My Absence Of Thought" Comments...
7/8/2009, Ginny McNulty wrote...
Hey Angie- Your article reminded me of when you locked both your keys and
son in the car! I loved reading your article, it was like we were sitting in
the faculty room and you were telling us the story.
7/1/2009, John Hannon wrote...
Angela- What a wonderful surprise to have the
opportunity to read your "Ramblings." I especially loved the one on grammar
and use of words. Takes me back to my days proof reading IRS course
materials as a project manager. Look forward to read your continued
"Ramblings." Hi to Rich!
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I belong to several groups. Not one of them is organized
to the point of having official anybodies. I tend to think that is one of
the reasons the groups run so well. Often, when people are elected, they
feel that they have power of some sort or other. On the other hand
constituents often feel that they, by virtue of their vote, have some power
over the person elected. There is nothing new there.
Two of my groups are fiber related. The biggest decision I must make is
about which yarn or what fabric shall I use to create something. But so much
more is decided while we knit or quilt. Three years ago two of us were
dealing with breast cancer diagnoses and the distraction of cutting up
beautiful pieces of fabric and sewing them back together to make quilts made
the process easier. Crocheting while waiting for a radiation treatment is
easier than being alone with your thoughts.
Each life of the twenty or so women that gather weekly have had to deal with
something - illness, deaths, unemployment, concerns about a husband or
children, and parents. Young women brought their children when they were off
from school; another brought her 90 year old mother-in-law who put us all to
shame with her skills and vitality. Creating something with other people was
often more supportive than talking. If someone needs to talk there are
enough people in the room to select a sympathetic ear. If not, stitching
away at something is a welcomed distraction.
My friend Janet and I went to a quilting class given at the Henrietta
Acampora Cottage in Blue Point. The class grew into a quilt group. I had
been concerned that I did not have the skills to keep up with the avid
quilters but that soon dissipated. Each member was generous with her time
and talent and I soon felt comfortable enough to make horrendous mistakes
and ask for help. This same generosity was true of a Friday afternoon group
that meets at the Brookhaven Library. The added bonus to this group is
anyone who wants to work on any project, or simply wants to try some
handwork, is welcome on any Friday afternoon. Members knit, weave, crochet,
quilt, do blackwork – which dates back to Catherine of Aragon and mentioned
by Chaucer. In addition, members have made jewelry, dolls, teddy bears,
dragons and other fanciful creatures. I even tried Igolochkoy or punch
needle embroidery. The willingness to teach and learn makes it a most
pleasurable afternoon. Here, as well, the ages of the women vary, a fact
that does not matter one bit.
How does a group evolve? A person goes out for a morning cup of coffee. He
or she meets others out for a bagel or danish. At first, pleasantries are
exchanged and others join in. After a few weeks the conversations range from
the esoteric to the banal but always entertaining. Years go by and a few
people grow into an eclectic group of interesting men and women that
discuss, laugh, provoke, tease and enlighten. I enjoy being part of them
once a week.
With the technology of today any person can spend days and even weeks
without seeing another person. How are social skills learned if you are
constantly blogging, or twittering? How can you ascertain if a person is
really “fine” without looking at them? Where are the nuances?
A common interest binds people together even if initially it was only a
quest for a good cup of java. Classmates, fellow employees, musicians,
retirees, widows, church members, wood carvers and pilots can meet to talk
about the connection between them. Some experience, good or bad, connects
them and they become aware of each other. The best time to kick yourself out
the door is when you really feel like pulling the covers over your head.
Human beings are social animals and really need more than a tweet to keep
going. Maybe knowing this is a blessing of the old – Ah, finally a benefit
to growing older!
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I like movies. I’m a movie junkie. When I was little, my Aunt
Rose and I would go to the Radio City Music Hall about once a month, or
every time there was a new movie. The Music Hall was a regular movie theatre
that just happened to also have a stage show complete with Rockettes. I
watched “To Kill a Mockingbird” from the front row at Radio City. It made
Gregory Peck look even more spectacular. Sometimes my aunt and I would catch
another show at the Criterion or even the Roxy. We saw “Anastasia” with
Ingrid Bergman at the Roxy before they dismantled it.
Ever so often in those days, “Gone with the Wind” would be re-released to
some theatre in the city. I saw it three times before I realized what Rhett
had in mind when he carried Scarlett up those magnificent stairs. I was
rather naïve in those days. We did not have movie ratings then other than
those put out by the Catholic Church. I remember that “Baby Doll” was
condemned. I don’t remember much else about that list.
When we weren’t going to movies, Aunt Rose and I would watch movies in her
room. She had one of the first TV remotes. It was about the size of a bar of
soap with a thumb-sized lever that “cachunked” when you hit it. It only
changed channels and went in a clockwise direction. If you wanted channel 2
and you were watching channel 4 you had to go through all the other
channels, but we had so few channels then. It took years before a movie that
you saw in the movie houses made it to “The Million Dollar Movie” on Channel
9. Then, you were able to see it every night that week at 7:30 PM. I learned
all the words of the songs and some of the dance routines from “Yankee
Doodle Dandy” that way. George M. Cohan would have been proud.
Aunt Rose died in 1981. I can’t even imagine what she would have thought
about movies today. I know she would lament the passing of the real ”Movie
Stars” like Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, and Gregory Peck. I mourn them
still.
I know that she would not approve of three-quarters of what is made today,
but my Aunt Rose would have loved the accessibility of movies we enjoy now.
Netflix would have been her favorite as it is mine. The first movie I
ordered after I subscribed was “Marty” with Ernest Borgnine. “So whattaya
wanna do, Ange?” is such a classic line especially if you are an “Ange.”
With Netflix, and all the movie channels, it’s easy to catch a good new
movie or a favorite oldie. But, I especially love it when I find a sleeper,
or a small market film that never made it to Suffolk. Those seem to be the
most worthwhile. Now, with the new Netflix feature “Watch Instantly,” I can
put a film into my instant “queue” and through the magic of a box called
Roku, have it on my screen in seconds. Currently you need yet another box to
use this feature but I found one for under $100 and I hooked it up myself.
For those who don’t know me, that’s fairly astounding. My husband, Rich,
usually gets those tasks, but he was happy to let me set it up.
Unfortunately, not all movies are available instantly, but it is still worth
it. Amazon.com is in the process of making all movies available to us
instantly. However, we will be charged per movie unlike Netflix’s monthly
plans.
Movies are a great diversion for me as is baseball, specifically Mets
baseball. We all have our passions and hobbies and are fiercely devoted to
them. That is a good thing. Our creativity needs as much exercise as our
bodies. Try watching a great movie, listening to a ball game, and knitting
something at the same time. It sure makes me happy.
P.S. I’ll occasionally pass on some movie titles that I found most
enjoyable. Check out: “Tea with Mussolini”, “The Mighty”, “Simon Birch”,
“Dress Code” also titled “Bruno”. “Dress Code” was made on Long Island
complete with Gary Sinese as a Suffolk County cop. Let me know what you
think.
"Movies" Comments...
6/3/2009, Nancy Benardello wrote...
Hey Angela, love your column. When we were kids, my
sisters and I waited every year for the week of Yankee Doodle Dandy on
Million Dollar Movie. We also learned much of the dialogue and every song
and dance from that movie and frequently performed them! Thanks for bringing
back that memory!
5/3/2009, Marilyn Supon wrote...
My all time favorite movie is Yankee Doodle Dandy. I,
too, learned every line from watching Million Dollar Movie. I still can't
walk down a long staircase without a little bounce in my step, as I am
always reminded of Jimmy Cagney dancing down those stairs in the White House
at the end of the movie.
4/27/2009, Donna Gaspari wrote...
Loved both columns--the movie rambling and
particularly the clutter column. Bravo. You brought both tears of laughter
and reminiscence to my eyes and want to get a hard copy of that one in
particular. My brother NEEDS to read it for many reasons. Thanks, Ange. Keep
them coming.
4/26/2009, Toby Walker wrote...
Jason Robards in 'A Thousand Clowns' did it for me.
Give me a flick where the dialog and acting take precedent over everything
else and I'm a happy camper. Throw in some snack food and I'm in for the
evening.
Real nice Angela.
4/22/2009, Kate Hines wrote...
Movies are great! I can recall seeing "The Sound Of
Music" with my friend Arleen back when it only cost $0.50 with our High
School G.O. card! We'd go in for the first show and stay at least three
times!
Have enjoyed your columns. Keep up the good work!
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I’m a “clutterer”, or should I say I am one who clutters since
clutterer sounds much better than it looks. I’m come from a long line of
clut… messy people. My favorite cleaning lady defined clutter as messy not
dirty. I take great solace in that.
My husband Rich and I lived on Bay Road in Brookhaven for 20 years. I had
stacks of stuff. Things I could not bear to throw away. The main problem
comes from not gleaning the wheat from the chaff, at least, occasionally.
The house on Bay Road was eccentric, old, had a dirt basement and no closets
or attic. Because of the layout we couldn’t even buy stuff hiding furniture.
So I had “piles” everywhere.
When we moved to a much larger house on Prairie Lane, my friends and
relatives started making predictions as to how long it would take for me to
get those dreaded piles. It has been 13 years since those predictions and I
beat them but things are piling up lately,.
I come from a long line of stuff keepers. I grew up in Corona, Queens in the
house my father moved in as an infant in 1910, and died there in 1983. My
father had carefully filled a four car garage so well, that it was a feat to
drive his 1969 Ford Galaxy into its measured spot. This was the same garage
that his father filled. My grandfather at least had a discerning eye when it
came to kept treasures. Unfortunately, someone long before even my father
was grown, tossed out all those glass items. After all, to them, Tiffany was
only the name of a neighborhood factory. I think that story marked at least
two generations.
I read a self-help book on clutter which, in short, expounds that is ALL
clutterers have deep psychological reasons for holding on to stuff. I did
clean out the basement after reading it. But for some reason the last
chapter of this book was devoted to the importance of colon cleansing; so I
lost my initiative.
Someone once told me that filing cabinets are really not useful if you don’t
regularly reorganize them. Most holding boxes and, my personal favorite,
totes of every shape and size, are filled with unnecessary items. Recently I
went through a file cabinet drawer and found the physicians’ lists from at
least two health insurances ago. I started gleaning and filling bags of
recycled paper. It reminded me of cleaning out the house in Corona after my
mother died. My brothers and I had to go through over 80 years and two
generations of piles. I was on one of my paper recycling crusades and had
been tearing out pages from an old spiral notebook when I found it. I
started to cry.
On a page scrawled in my mother’s distinctive handwriting was a note to us.
My brothers and I had been at each others’ throats over dealing with all you
have to do when your parents die. But somehow in the middle of an old spiral
notebook, our mother pleaded with us not to fight because it would have
broken “Daddy’s” heart. She wrote that she was ready to join him and that we
shouldn't feel too bad about her leaving.
How ?… when?… why?… who knows?…My brothers were as awestruck as I was, and
as good “watch out for the bad omens” Italians, decided not to discuss it.
Luckily I felt that notebook had too many clean pages to throw away.
Moral: Piles can be more than a pain in the ass.
Angela Giannotti
"Clutterer" Comments...
5/6/2009, Bianca Merante wrote...
Love the "clutter story" ....this is great stuff ..
keep it coming!!
3/25/2009, Marilyn Supon wrote...
Way to go, Angela! You give voice all the retired
English teachers out there. We needed the representation.
3/20/2009, Linda Davis wrote...
I loved Angela's column.
Would like to read more.
3/18/2009, Alice McLerran wrote...
I am much taken with this new voice now part of the website. I enjoyed the debut column, and look forward to more!
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